This week’s Gratitude Sunday post is dedicated to Em.  I am so blessed to have her as a daughter.  To say I could not imagine my life without her is the world’s biggest understatement.

Quotes on Gratitude for Daughters

“A daughter is a miracle that never ceases to be miraculous… full of beauty and forever beautiful… loving and caring and truly amazing.” — Deanna Beisser

“A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart.” — Author Unknown

“A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future.” — Author Unknown

Reasons I am grateful for Em

1. She is kind and compassionate.  So much so that when a new girl came into the classroom, the teacher sat her next to Em because she knew Em would take care of her and make her feel welcome.
2. Likewise, she takes excellent care of her little brother.  Of course they argue, but when push comes to shove she is his fiercest protector and most patient teacher.
3. She is very artistic – in visual, verbal AND dramatic arts.
4. She loves reading and writing.
5. She asks for (and gives) LOTS of hugs, and often tells me, “You’re the best Mom in the whole world.”
6. Even as she gets older and wants to spend more time with her friends, family always comes first for her.
7. She is very sensitive and doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.  For this reason, friends have sometimes taken advantage of her.  Instead of accepting this treatment, she’s worked with us and other adults to learn to stand up for herself and express her needs and feelings.  Now she is not only a good friend to others, but understands what makes someone a good friend for her.
8. She is adventurous with experiences (if a little shy with new people).  She climbs rock walls, rides horses, skis, dances, acts, paints, swims, plays basketball.  She loves art museums and science museums equally.  She’s always willing to try something new.
9. She loves school and values learning.
10. When she laughs, the world stands still to listen to so pure and beautiful a sound.

What are you grateful for this week?

My beautiful girl who, despite her mother's wishes, continues to grow up too fast...

My dad always used to say that there is never a right time or a wrong time to buy real estate.  When you’re ready, you just go for it because you can never predict what is going to happen two weeks, two months, or two years from now.  He said the same thing about having children – if you wait until all the conditions are “perfect,” you’ll just never do it because perfect conditions are impossible to achieve.  (I’m leaving out the, “You’re no spring chicken anymore,” statement he made when I was all of 29…).  In other words, both are acts of faith – and no small amount of bravado.

I’ve found the same to be true of traveling abroad with children.  Phil and I debated about the “right time” to take the kids abroad, and before this Italy trip came into conception, we both assumed it would be when they were at least adolescents.  Younger kids, we thought, can’t appreciate the history, art, architecture and culture enough to make it worth the expense.

What happened in the interim was a perfect storm of events and considerations that landed us here in Italy this summer, but I must admit that the primary factor was that I was desperately missing Europe and didn’t want to stay away any longer.  Europe is a big part of both of our lives, so I figured we could find a way to fit the kids in to life rather than fit life around the kids, if that makes sense.

The kids have been having an amazing time, but Em asked me a question yesterday that cemented it for me:

“Mommy, how many more years until I’m thirteen?”

I almost choked on the answer – five years.  Then later I realized it’s really 4 and a half.

FOUR AND A HALF YEARS, PEOPLE!!!  How is that possible?!?  I have always joked that she was zero going on sixteen coming out of the womb, but now it’s just not funny anymore.

What is my point?  Well, it’s true that the kids don’t always appreciate the history, art and architecture as much as an adult or even a teenager would.  Perhaps they think it’s just as big of a deal to be given a whole can of Coke on a hot day than to see the Leaning Tower of Pisa or to see the big fish in Portofino harbor instead of the harbor itself.  The significant upside is that they are also still interested in their parents.  To them, the sun still rises and sets with us, and they actually want to spend almost all of their time in our company.  All too soon, that will change.

Monterosso beach

I took the kids to the Cinque Terre today.  The experience was vastly different from the day I went by myself and hiked from village-to-village.  This time, we spent most of the day on the beach in Monterosso.  We rented a paddle boat that had a slide built right onto it.  The slide curved around the boat and landed us right into the sea.  It was goofy and ridiculously fun.  It was also probably something Em wouldn’t be caught dead doing once she gets self-conscious about her looks and about boys.  Unfortunately, I know from whence she comes and that those days are not so far in the future.

But for today they were just kids on the beach swimming, building sand castles, searching for sea glass and eating gelato.  Also, we happened to be in Italy.

Best of both worlds if you ask me.

My favorite picture book is Eloise, by Kay Thompson.  I think this choice surprised even me, given my love of Dr. Seuss and all things rhyming, but when I thought back on books that impacted me as a child, I had to go with Eloise.  For one thing, it was one of the few books I actually owned.  For another, the story and the pictures are so rich, I could spend hours poring over this book.  I grew up in a small town in Northern Michigan.  At the time I was reading Eloise, I had never even stayed in a hotel, much less lived in one.  So the book was probably my first exposure to a way of life completely different from my own (never mind that it was different from almost everyone else’s too).  Today, my love of Eloise is only magnified by the knowledge that this book, if submitted today, would probably not be published.  I give both cultural and writerly reasons below, but first, let’s celebrate Eloise, the girl.

Why Eloise is awesome

• She is whip smart and self-reliant
• She’s her own person and unapologetic about it
• She has a sense of wonder about every small thing around her
• She has a wild imagination and loves to pretend
• She is cunning
• She refuses to get bored. Why would you get bored when you can comb your hair with a fork, wear your arm in a sling or put a rubber band on the end of your nose?
• She’s a real kid.  Despite her obvious wealth and unconventional lifestyle, every child from every background can relate to her.  My favorite scene in the book is when she copies everything her tutor says and does until he is driven to insanity.  Why do all kids do this?? My son is in this phase right now, and my daughter went through it too.  I know I tormented my own mother likewise.  I suspect that two millenia from now, somewhere in the world a parent and child will be having this conversation: “Time for dinner.”  “Time for dinner.”  “Please don’t do that.”  “Please don’t do that.”  “I mean it.”  “I mean it.”  “That’s not funny.”  “That’s not funny.”  And on and on til the end of time…
• She is mischievous but also loving and lovable

Why Eloise couldn’t get published today: Cultural Reasons 

• My GAWD, the grown-ups smoke, drink and gamble
• A six year-old runs around a hotel without any adult supervision
• Absentee parents
• Lord, but they say Lord a lot in this book
• Little girl commits vandalism in a public space
• Doesn’t anyone discipline this girl?

Why Eloise couldn’t get published today: Writerly Reasons

• Opening lines = “I am Eloise. I am six.”  Probably wouldn’t fly today.
• Holy word count Batman! At 3000+ words, it probably wouldn’t get past the query stage
• Tri-color pencil drawings.  While they are so detailed and so gorgeous, they probably wouldn’t be flashy enough for today’s market.

So I’m glad it got published when it did, so that generations of children can come to know Eloise – a true original.

So, what is YOUR favorite picture book?  Do you agree or disagree that Eloise probably wouldn’t get published today?

Don’t believe me?  Consider the evidence.  American Girl Julie grew up in the 70s.  I grew up in the 70s.  Julie’s parents got a divorce.  My parents got a divorce (albeit not in the 70s, but still…).  Julie has a pet rock.  I had a pet rock.  If that is not enough to convince you, let’s take a look at the photographic evidence.  Here is a picture of the doll and a picture of me circa the mid-seventies.  I rest my case.

The Doll

The Model

Okay, so AG Julie lives in San Francisco and I lived in Northern Michigan.  Obviously the author (the fabulously talented Megan McDonald) had to change some of the details in order to avoid paying me my fair share of the significant proceeds of this series.  Honestly, if I find out that AG Julie has a toy skeleton that glows in the dark after you hold it up to a light bulb, a Lite Brite, Weebles (they wobble, but they don’t fall down), and/or Shrinky Dinks, I might consider a lawsuit.

I just feel so violated…  Lately, I’ve taken to walking down the street under an umbrella wearing sunglasses with plate-sized lenses just to avoid recognition.  Now that they are filming the “Julie” story (out in 2012), I can’t get any peace.  You’d think they would have at least given me a part in the movie – but no.  Apparently I’m now too old for the title role.  American Girl actually dares to put this series in the historical fiction category.  First of all, it’s not fiction – it’s my life.  Secondly, I am most definitely not old enough to be considered historical in any way, right?  Right????

On that note, I’ve often told my mother that the name Julie is so seventies that by the time I get to be 80 years old, it will be the equivalent of Maude or Gertrude or Betty today.  So for all of you fellow Julies out there, we need to stage a comeback for the name.  They’ve done it with names like Olivia and Sophia, so why not Julie?  Who’s got some pull with the Top 100 Baby Names Book publisher? Best get on it.

Otherwise, we’ll all soon be known as Julie: An American Old Lady.

*Some or all of this post may or may not be true…

This post was written as part of Rachael Harrie’s Writers’ Platform-Building Crusade.  She is 100% to blame for the kartoffelpuffer reference.

First let’s discuss the New York Times article last week that caused quite a kerfuffle in the children’s publishing world, particularly among children’s book authors and publishers.  The article in question made three points:

1. Picture Book sales have declined over the past year.
2. Many parents are pushing children into chapter books sooner (called “reading up”) due to either the parent’s or the child’s belief that picture books are “too easy.”
3. Publishing houses are now publishing fewer picture books.

Each of these three statements, taken alone, are true.  The problem with the NYT article is that it used these statements to support this erroneous conclusion: “Picture Books are No Longer a Staple for Children.” In other words, picture books are dead; children and parents are leaving them behind to languish while they scoop up chapter books by the dozen.

Even casting aside shoddy journalism (Mother Reader covers this very eloquently here) and the fact that the one parent quoted in the article said her comments were taken out of context, the article struck a lot of nerves.  The fact is, picture book sales have been declining, and that has writers very nervous, wondering if it is part of a natural cycle or a permanent trend.  Because sales are declining, agents and editors are acquiring fewer of them.  Then we all start to wonder how children will be impacted.  Because regardless of what some parents and teachers may think, picture books are essential in teaching children early literacy and reading.  But don’t just take my word for it.

The EarlyWord blog compiled a fantastic list of reasons why picture books are so important.  The folks at Darien Library said, “The picture book is a unique work of art.  Combining text, illustration, and design elements, a good picture book does more than simply tell a good story.  Picture books can teach and engage a child’s understanding of visual literacy (a skill that this new generation of digital natives will absolutely require to be successful in both academia and professional life).” Miss Print talks about quality versus quantity in reading and why picture books are a critical gateway to other books.  She also notes that because picture books are meant to be read aloud, they often have far more sophisticated language than chapter books that children can read themselves at a young age.

The fact is, some parents do push their children into what they perceive as more challenging books sooner than they did before.  But this is not just the “mean” parent that snatches a picture book out of a child’s hand with a reprimand to read something more grown up.  There are very real pressures on parents and teachers to get kids to meet testing goals.  Picture book author Tara Lazar did a great job addressing this issue on her blog.

And yes, publishing houses are acquiring and publishing fewer picture books – right now.  This is do more to the economic realities and uncertainties of the future market than a condemnation of the picture book as a “dead” format.  Mary Kole, an agent with the Andrea Brown Literary Agency, devoted an entire post to the economics of producing picture books.  Short version: it’s not insignificant.

Here’s my two little cents on a few other things that make picture books so special and so necessary:

• Exposure to poetry.  And I don’t mean just rhyme, although rhyme is hugely important in developing early literacy, word recognition and speech patterns.  Mem Fox put it better in an essay called Reading Magic. “Songs and rhymes provide comforting rhythms…and also expose kids to gorgeous forms of language.  They are a natural extension of the heartbeat of the mother and the rhythmic rocking of a child in loving arms or in a cradle.” However, the best picture books, whether rhyme or prose, have poetic elements.  With so few words, picture books can’t help but draw from poetic form.
• Exposure to fine art.  If you haven’t perused modern picture books lately, I urge you to go to your nearest library or bookstore and take a look.  What you will find is some of the finest art being produced today, right there on the page and ready for the very youngest of our children to appreciate and learn from.  Philip Nel at Nine Kinds of Pie said it best by calling picture books a “portable art gallery.”
• Learning comprehension.  Pictures in stories help children learn reading comprehension.  Period.  Last year, I was a leader of the Junior Great Books program in Em’s school.  JGB focuses on developing critical thinking skills among children using literature.  Her first grade teacher then asked me to lead a group of advanced readers in the classroom using the approach.  She said, “They can read the words – even very advanced words – but they don’t necessarily understand what they are reading.”  Being able to read and decipher words is not the same thing as being literate.
• Story structure.  Picture books have a clearly defined beginning, middle and end that even the youngest kids can identify because the story is short enough for them to remember.  In this way, picture books not only teach kids to read, but also to write!
• The sweetness at the end of the day.  Truthfully, there is no more profound or compelling way to spend the last few waking minutes with a child at the end of a day than curling up with a picture book.  Yes, my daughter sometimes likes to read a chapter or two of her book on her own, or I read chapter books to her.  But without the pictures we lose the “cuddle factor.”  She can be across the room listening to a chapter book, but we need to be side by side to read a picture book.  As a result, most nights we sit, together with Jay (4) and read favorite picture books.  We all love them equally, which makes them perfect for quality family time.
• A childhood rite of passage.  There is so much pressure on our kids to grow up so quickly.  I say, let them have all the picture books they want for as long as they want.  One of my favorite things is when I come home from the library with a stack of picture books for research purposes, and Em says, “Oh I LOVE that book!  Mrs. Morris read it to us last year.”  Then it’s all I can do to get it back from her, which is fine by me.

Where, you ask, in all of this is the reason why picture books are worth more than 1000 words?  For one thing, the pictures often tell a deeper story or even a different story than the text.  For another, each word is chosen very carefully in a  picture book.  There is no room for filler or extraneous text – every word is chosen for beauty, humor, emotion, and/or to move the story forward.  Last, but not least, a picture book will get read over and over and over and over again – maybe even 1000 times.  The inspiration they provide to children along the way is worth every word.

Me reading Twas the Night Before Christmas to the kids - an annual Christmas Eve tradition

What are your favorite picture books?  What role did they play in your childhood?  Also, do you know of any other great responses to the NYT article?  I will compile a list here and add to it as I go.

P.S. The NYT article was the topic of last night’s #kidlitchat on Twitter.  Check out the great discussion on the transcript.

P.P.S. I will post links to other articles/posts written in response to the NYT article here as I find them.

Five Reasons Why Children NEED Picture Books – exceptionally well-researched post by author Terry Pierce

The PICTURE: Kids’ Play: In defense of picture books–and other childish things – article in The New Republic by art critic Jed Perl

NY Times missing the point and why indies do rock picture book selling – by indie bookseller Aaron’s Books

Don’t Forget the Beauty of Picture Books by Jenna Hatfield

What I DID find to discuss in the New York Times article... by Carol Rasco, CEO of Reading is Fundamental

Much has been written this week in support of the first amendment and free access to the written word and against censorship.  I’ve provided links to some that I’ve enjoyed later in the post.  In the meantime, I decided it would be interesting to make a list of all the books I’ve read that appear on the most often banned or challenged lists.  This list undoubtedly constitutes a fraction of the total number of banned books I’ve read, since only those that get consistently challenged or are successfully banned appear on the lists.

It is fair to say that I simply would not be the same person without some of these books.  Shel Silverstein?  Roald Dahl?  Judy Blume?  Katherine Paterson?  S.E. Hinton?  Madeleine L’Engle?  Hello???  That’s my whole youth up in flames right there.  On a side note, I chuckled to myself at the omission of one of my most beloved books of all time – Eloise, by Kay Thompson.  I’m wondering how she escaped the would-be banners’ eyes.  In it, the adults drink, smoke, and gamble.  There is an abstentee parent (perhaps even an unwed mother – we’re never quite sure).  Eloise runs unsupervised around the Plaza Hotel in various states of undress, commits acts of vandalism, taunts her tutor endlessly and says, “For Lord’s Sake” a LOT.

But I digress… Here’s my list:

1. Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, by John Berendt
2. Deenie, Blubber, Tiger Eyes, Are You There God it’s Me Margaret? and Forever, by Judy Blume (Interesting that Then Again Maybe I Won’t isn’t on the list.  Is that because it’s puberty from the male point of view?)
3. James and the Giant Peach, by Roald Dahl
4. The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald
5. Julie of the Wolves, by Jean Craighead George
6. A Time to Kill, by John Grisham
7. Snow Falling on Cedars, by David Guterson
8. Speak, by Laurie Halse Anderson (the source of recent outrage after an attempted removal from a school curriculum in Missouri – more below)
9. It’s Not the Stork, by Robie Harris
10. The Outsiders, by S.E. Hinton
11. That Was Then, This is Now, by S.E. Hinton
12. The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini
13. A Prayer for Owen Meany, by John Irving (My ALL-TIME favorite book!)
14. Carrie, Christine and Cujo, by Stephen King (I guess the banners got tired after getting through King’s “C” titles.  It sort of seems like if you ban one you’ve gotta ban ‘em all, right?)
15. Animal Dreams and The Bean Trees, by Barbara Kingsolver
16. A Wrinkle in Time, by Madeleine L’Engle
17. To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee
18. Twilight (series), by Stephenie Meyer (On the claim it’s sexually explicit.  Really?  Cause I thought we had to read 3000 pages before they had sex, and that was AFTER they were married – at age 18).
19. Lolita, by Vladimir Nabokov
20. 1984, by George Orwell
21. Animal Farm, by George Orwell
22. Junie B. Jones (series), by Barbara Park
23. Bridge to Terabithia, by Katherine Paterson (My favorite childhood book)
24. My Sister’s Keeper, by Jodi Picoult
25. Captain Underpants, by Dav Pilkey (Yes I’ve read it.  Kids live in my house)
26. How to Eat Fried Worms, by Thomas Rockwell
27. Harry Potter (series), by J.K. Rowling
28. The Catcher in the Rye, by J.D. Salinger
29. The Lovely Bones, by Alice Sebold
30. A Light in the Attic, by Shel Silverstein (All I can say is… SERIOUSLY?)
31. The Jungle, by Upton Sinclair
32. Of Mice and Men and The Grapes of Wrath, by John Steinbeck
33. The Joy Luck Club, by Amy Tan
34. The Lord of the Rings, by J.R.R. Tolkien
35. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, by Mark Twain
36. The Color Purple, by Alice Walker

Some Links on Banned Books Week

• Tahereh Mafi has compiled a list of blog posts by people providing reviews of their favorite banned book.
• Jim Trelease, author of The Read-Aloud Handbook, writes in defense of the children’s books that have been banned.
• Alice Pope, on the SCBWI blog, provides a roundup of #BannedBookWeek tweets, including many blog posts from top bloggers/writers.
• Another list of children’s books that have been banned/challenged and the reasons why.
• The League of Extraordinary Writers is doing an entire series on banned books this week.
• It’s Banned Books Week – by editor Martha Mihalick, including links to other great posts.
• Book Banners Hurt Young People – Nine Kinds of Pie (added 10/1)
• Poems for Banned Books Week – including Laurie Halse Anderson reading Listen, other amazing poems and masses of fabulous links
• And many, many more…

Speak Loudly – posts on the attempt to remove Speak from a high school curriculum in Missouri

• This Guy Thinks SPEAK is Pornography – Laurie Halse Anderson’s “post that launched 1000+ tweets.”  Also read her subsequent posts about the firestorm of support that’s come from readers, writers and literary folks of all kinds.
• Speak Loudly – In Defense of Laurie Halse Anderson – MUST READ post by Myra McEntire: a Christian’s perspective
• Speaking Out – Nine Kinds of Pie
• SpeakLoudly.org – a blog launched in response to the challenge to Speak in MO
• Speak Loudly – by Alvina Ling at the Blue Rose Girls, which includes many more links
• Speak Loudly! Speak Out Against Censorship – by Ingrid Sundberg
• And many, many more…  Also this ad that ran in the New York Times today:

A Few Quotes

“If there is a bedrock principle underlying the First Amendment, it is that the government may not prohibit the expression of an idea simply because society finds the idea itself offensive or disagreeable.” — Supreme Court Justice William J. Brennan, Jr.

“Restriction of free thought and free speech is the most dangerous of all subversions. It is the one un-American act that could most easily defeat us.” — Supreme Court Justice William O. Douglas

“Books won’t stay banned.  They won’t burn.  Ideas won’t go to jail.  In the long run of history, the censor and the inquisitor have always lost.  The only weapon against bad ideas is better ideas.” — Alfred Whitney Griswold

“What progress we are making.  In the Middle Ages they would have burned me.  Now they are content with burning my books.” — Sigmund Freud

“Whenever I read about someone trying to ban a book in a school or library, it usually seems like they are trying to avoid a conversation with their kids that they ought to be having. Whether it’s reminders of unpleasantness in the world, or just a different point of view, it’s condescending to think that kids can’t handle tough ideas.” — MK Reed

“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” — Voltaire

What banned book or books have made a huge difference in your life?

View from the Arnold Line ferry dock

Mackinac Island, for the uninitiated, is located in the Straights of Mackinac between the lower and upper peninsulas of Michigan on the Lake Huron side.  Motor vehicles are prohibited on the island and have been since 1898.  Methods of transportation include bicycles, horseback or horse-drawn carriage, or your own two feet.

I visited Mackinac many times growing up, but almost always as a day trip.  In fact, the only time I spent the night was after partying with some friends who were working there for the summer (but that’s another story).  I have only fond memories of visiting the island: as a child with my parents, riding in a horse-drawn carriage for the first time, on my eighth grade class trip, with my first boyfriend in high school, with friends at the aforementioned party, with Phil when we were still dating, and then finally, last week with Phil and the kids.  I always knew I would take my kids to Mackinac one day.  As a girl, I dreamed about seeing it for the first time through their eyes, and once again, Mackinac Island did not disappoint me.

Part of the Grand Hotel porch, taken from the lawn

Soon after arriving at the docks, Phil and I bought the kids an ice cream cone and waited for a “taxi” (carriage) to take us to the Grand Hotel, where we would be spending the night.  I’m sure I was more excited than the rest of the family put together.  Staying at the Grand Hotel had been on my Bucket List since I first laid eyes on it as a child.  The childhood longing I had to wander the halls, dine in the Grand style and take a dip in the Esther Williams swimming pool was no doubt magnified by the fact that, when I was a kid, non-guests were only allowed on the porch of the hotel.  Now you can pay an entrance fee to tour the lobby, parlor and gardens (not including the pool), but back then – oh to stare down at that pool on a hot day from so far up.  It was torture!

Our room

Finally, I got to walk through the doors and go deep into the hotel, which is literally a feast for the eyes.  John Singer Sargent portraits hang cheek by jowl with historical photos and newspaper clippings detailing the visits of the Grand’s many famous guests.  Dozens of crystal chandeliers hang above plush green carpet adorned with geraniums in the famous parlor, while every window provides a sweeping view of Lake Huron.  The long white porch is lined with glowing red geraniums and American flags and is furnished with dozens of white rockers perfect for taking in the view.  Look down and you see the impeccable lawn and gardens, and yes, the jewel of a pool that tempts (taunts?) with its serpentine shape.  Every room in the hotel is unique.  Ours was decorated like a old-fashioned peppermint candy and had a magnificent carriage-style balcony overlooking a bluff and Lake Huron beyond.  So far so good.

Things unraveled a little that evening, however.  Part of the “Grand” experience is dressing for dinner (our dinner photo is here), which Em had been looking forward to for weeks.  Coat and tie for men and dresses or suits for women are required.  We rarely dress up, living in “casual country” out West, so it seems almost quaint when we do.  We had high hopes.

The Grand Hotel operates on an “all-inclusive” program.  Your room and three meals are included in the price, no gratuities permitted.  The end result of this system is a cruise ship atmosphere.  “Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” to quote Jerry Seinfeld.  That is, if a cruise ship experience is what you’re looking for.  The cavernous dining room, while gorgeous, holds hundreds of people and turns over at least twice each evening, which leads to service that is abrupt, impersonal and rushed.  You do not get the sense that is okay to linger over your meal, nor do you want to since the setting is anything but intimate.  The meal itself was pretty decent considering how many people they feed, but the overall experience left us a little flat.  And by “us” I really mean Phil and me.  The kids were oblivious.  We got similar clipped service from the porters and front desk staff or basically anyone of whom we asked a question.

With kids on the Grand Hotel porch

So, would I stay at the Grand again?  No.  It’s definitely one of those things you do once for the experience.  Am I glad I finally did?  Absolutely!  I still had that childhood sense of privilege to be a bona fide guest, and there is no denying that it is one of the most beautiful hotel properties anywhere.

The real treat came the next day when we rode with the kids on tandem bikes around the island (although the irony of denying them a swim in the pool did not escape me).  Did I mention the spectacular weather we had?  In fact, it was probably the best day in the history of best days on Mackinac.  A cloudless sky draped over jeweled water so blue you’d think you were in the Caribbean.  (Or you’d think that until you put your feet in the water and realized that the Great Lakes are a long, LONG way from the Caribbean Sea).  Warm enough to take a dip in the cool clear waters and emerge with feeling still remaining in your limbs.  We armed ourselves with a picnic that included lots of famous Mackinac Island fudge and made many stops along the way to enjoy the water and the scenery.

Face first into Lake Huron

At one point, full of gratitude to bursting, I sang Bicycle Built for Two to Em as we pedaled together.  The lyrics fit the day and the mood perfectly:

Daisy, Daisy,
Give me your answer do!
I’m half crazy,
All for the love of you!
It won’t be a stylish marriage,
I can’t afford a carriage
But you’ll look sweet upon the seat
Of a bicycle built for two.

In fact, I think this picture of Jay captures the Mackinac trip perfectly:

As our ferry pulled back from the dock that day, Em sighed and said, “Someday I’m going to have a house here.”

I know the feeling.

The magic of Mackinac lives on, and I am grateful that I had the chance to share it with my children.

P.S.  This is the first week since I’ve started blogging that I haven’t posted even once between two Sundays.  Blogging with the kids out of school and while on vacation has proved more difficult than I anticipated.  I’ll be back to a more regular schedule (fingers crossed!) now that we are home.

Quotes on Gratitude

“(Happiness) is produced not so much by great pieces of good fortune that seldom happen as by little advantages that occur every day” — Benjamin Franklin

“…I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth. Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don’t even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child — our own two eyes. All is a miracle.” — That Nich Hanh

“Gratitude is a quality similar to electricity: it must be produced and discharged and used up in order to exist at all.” — William Faulkner

Gratitude List for the week ending July 17

1. Fulfilling my childhood dream of spending a night in the Grand Hotel on Mackinac Island (post on that coming soon)
2. Riding bikes around Mackinac Island, Em and I on a tandem with wide handlebars and a basket in front.  Riding on the sun-dappled road with Lake Huron in constant view, I felt like I should have been wearing an ankle-length Victorian dress complete with girdle and lace-up boots.  Luckily, I was in shorts and T-shirt instead.
3. Stopping for a swim break in the crystal clear waters of Lake Huron
4. Murdick’s Mackinac Island fudge – particularly the Chocolate Macadamia Nut
5. Taking the kids on a carriage ride on the island
6. “Taking” my niece to see Eclipse (okay, okay – I asked if she wanted to go so I could go too)
7. Picking Rocky up from doggy daycare when we got home
8. Enjoying our first produce from the garden – rainbow chard and sugar snap peas
9. Standing on the patio in bare feet after dark and feeling the heat retained from the summer sun in the stones.
10. I hate to admit it, but I am grateful to once again have a regular and reliable Internet connection.

What are you grateful for this week?

Dressed for Dinner at Grand Hotel

Abby had a difficult student in one of her classes last year (call her Brenna).  Brenna had a terrible attitude, never studied, never did her homework, didn’t pay attention in class and was openly hostile toward Abby.  Despite repeated attempts on Abby’s part to work with Brenna to improve her grade, Brenna did not put in her time and got an “F” in the class.

Months later, Abby’s eleven year-old daughter (call her Jamie) became a member of the sixth grade soccer team.  In order to inspire the girls, Jamie’s coach scheduled a weekend clinic with the high school girls’ soccer team.  Guess who was on that team?  Right — Brenna.  So here’s this group of eleven and sixteen year-old girls introducing themselves and after Jamie said her name, Brenna gives her the evil eye and said, “Oh, so you’re Mrs. X’s daughter.  You know, your (not nice word) mother failed me.”

Wherein this spitfire of an eleven year-old looks Brenna square in the face and responds, “My mother didn’t fail you.  You failed yourself.”

Imagine an eleven year-old girl, not only having the courage to stand up to a high schooler in a crowd of people, but also saying something so true and so wise.  Now you can see why I hope some of her mothering skills rub off on me.

It is easy to be discouraged with the “state” of kids today being brought up as they are in what seems like an age of entitlement, finger-pointing and passing the buck.  This story makes me think maybe the pendulum is starting to swing back the other way.  The best gift we can give our children is to teach them to be independent, responsible, self-disciplined, self-motivated and to hold themselves accountable for their actions.  Then we give them the chance to grow up and raise children in their image.  Our job is to provide ample love and guidance along the way.

I had a taste of this the other day when I complimented Em on bringing home an excellent report card.  I asked her, “Who are you doing this for?”

In response, she shouted, “Me!”

That is the right answer.  For as much as I don’t want to fail her, I especially don’t want her to fail herself.

Putting this program into practice with 6-7 year-olds immediately following a long school day has its challenges.  I always incorporate games, movement and art into the sessions so the kids aren’t sitting still for the entire hour, but that doesn’t change the fact that each session includes at least 30 minutes of listening to the story reading and “shared inquiry” discussion.  Boy do I have a greater appreciation for teachers since I started facilitating this program!  It is so fun and rewarding to work with the kids and see them get excited about literature.  Sometimes though, I do get frustrated – like when they roll around on the floor making fart noises while spreading their snacks to kingdom come.  Last week was a particularly wild one because we did a dramatization of Rumpelstiltskin.  Fun for them; hell for me.  At the end I had kids chasing each other around the library with pencils, necessitating a couple of time-outs, which was a huge bummer for both them and me.  I felt like I needed a red wine IV drip when I got home.

That evening, I pondered how I might structure the next session to curtail some of the goofiness until the end.  The answer came to me immediately after looking at the title for this week’s story – Eeyore has a Birthday (and gets Two Presents).  The wine-induced voice inside my head whispered, “Bribe them.”  So I planned a birthday party for Eeyore, complete with cake, candles, games and balloons.  The only thing the kids had to do was sit (relatively) still during the reading and take part in the discussion.  I also used the candles as an extra carrot:  I promised that the two kids who sat the most still for the reading while contributing thoughtfully to the discussion would get to blow out Eeyore’s candles.

Well, you could have heard a pin drop in that room.  One parent came in during the reading and asked, “Are they supposed to be this quiet?”

We had a great discussion about moods, birthdays and friendship and then I let the kids loose.  We all had cake and each child got a red balloon (the color Eeyore got in the story, only of course his popped).  I came home feeling replenished and rewarded with warm fuzzies abounding for the kids.

This time, the only problem is that I now have the song 99 Red Luft Balloons stuck in my head.  Urgh!