Here he is making a wish at the Trevi Fountain. My wish for him is that his life is all he dreams it will be.

Although Jay’s 6th birthday was on Wednesday, I’m dedicating this week’s Gratitude Sunday post to him, just as I did for my daughter on her birthday.

Jay is quite a character.  He has so much enthusiasm for life and a great sense of humor.  But he has a very sweet and sensitive side too.  Consider this conversation we had over the holidays.

Jay: The heart is the most important organ in your body right?

Me: Right (through a mouthful of food). I was just getting ready to add, “It pumps all the blood through your whole body,” but before I could say it, he said…

Jay: That’s because your heart is where you feel love.

Which of course, made my heart practically explode with love.

Quotes on Gratitude for Sons

“[Sons] are not things to be molded, but are people to be unfolded.” — Jess Lair

“Before you were conceived I wanted you. Before you were born I loved you. Before you were here for an hour I would die for you. This is the miracle of life.” — Maureen Hawkins

“Making the decision to have a child – it’s momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body.” — Elizabeth Stone

Reasons I am grateful for Jay

1. He says things that are so funny, but somehow wise at the same time.
2. He is not shy about expressing himself or talking to people, even when he’s just met them.
3. I wouldn’t call him “still waters,” given how much he runs around, but he IS a deep thinker.
4. When we snuggle at bedtime, he still puts his head on the same spot on my shoulder that he did as an infant.
5. Speaking of snuggles, he is a VERY snuggly boy, which I love.
6. He loves reading AND math, and especially loves school.
7. He adores and looks up to his big sister, and although they argue, he lets her know how much he loves and appreciates her.
8. He reminds me of my father with his “big personality,” as one of his teachers called it.
9. He loves his family and friends, but he is very independent.  He can entertain himself for long periods of time.
10. He is very imaginative, especially when it comes to building things with Tinker Toys, Legos and other toys.  His building is his “art.”

What are you grateful for this week?

Quotes on Gratitude

“The grateful heart that springs forth in joy is not acquired in a moment; it is the fruit of a thousand choices.” — Nancy Leigh DeMoss

“Every single day do something that makes your heart sing.” — Marcia Wieder

“And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.” – Khalil Gibran

Gratitude List for the week ending January 21

1. Jay’s teacher said about him, “His face tells thousands of stories that he would never be able to express in words.”
2. I volunteered for the School Food Project in the kids’ cafeteria this week, as a chef came in to demo cooking stir-fry.  Watching the kids gobble up that food, veggies and all, was a delight.
3. I FINALLY got my business bank account open.  So much hassle and such a relief to get it done.  So you can all start sending me money now!
4. Having movie night with the kids, watching Mr. Popper’s Penguins (and eating pizza and popcorn).
5. My mom had the kids for a sleepover on Friday, giving me the night “off,” which I used to take a long hot bath and read my book.
6. I got to spend a whole afternoon skiing with a girlfriend while our kiddos had a lesson.  Amazing how many runs you can get in when you’re not constantly stopping for bathroom breaks, hot chocolate or to warm up little fingers and toes!
7. I am grateful for the 12 x 12 in 2012 community.  I’m in awe of the response to this challenge and how much the group members are already helping and supporting each other.  It’s an inspiration!  Don’t forget the deadline to sign up is January 29th – one week from today!
8. I received and accepted a Top Secret opportunity this week that won’t be Top Secret for much longer.  And no, it’s not that I got an agent, but I am SO excited about it!!
9. I got to go for a run outside on a rare 60-degree day.  Doesn’t happen much in Boulder in January.
10. Listening to Em’s classmates all tell her what they appreciate about her during her “birthday circle” at the school.

What are you grateful for this week?

This week’s Gratitude Sunday post is dedicated to Em.  I am so blessed to have her as a daughter.  To say I could not imagine my life without her is the world’s biggest understatement.

Quotes on Gratitude for Daughters

“A daughter is a miracle that never ceases to be miraculous… full of beauty and forever beautiful… loving and caring and truly amazing.” — Deanna Beisser

“A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart.” — Author Unknown

“A daughter is the happy memories of the past, the joyful moments of the present, and the hope and promise of the future.” — Author Unknown

Reasons I am grateful for Em

1. She is kind and compassionate.  So much so that when a new girl came into the classroom, the teacher sat her next to Em because she knew Em would take care of her and make her feel welcome.
2. Likewise, she takes excellent care of her little brother.  Of course they argue, but when push comes to shove she is his fiercest protector and most patient teacher.
3. She is very artistic – in visual, verbal AND dramatic arts.
4. She loves reading and writing.
5. She asks for (and gives) LOTS of hugs, and often tells me, “You’re the best Mom in the whole world.”
6. Even as she gets older and wants to spend more time with her friends, family always comes first for her.
7. She is very sensitive and doesn’t have a mean bone in her body.  For this reason, friends have sometimes taken advantage of her.  Instead of accepting this treatment, she’s worked with us and other adults to learn to stand up for herself and express her needs and feelings.  Now she is not only a good friend to others, but understands what makes someone a good friend for her.
8. She is adventurous with experiences (if a little shy with new people).  She climbs rock walls, rides horses, skis, dances, acts, paints, swims, plays basketball.  She loves art museums and science museums equally.  She’s always willing to try something new.
9. She loves school and values learning.
10. When she laughs, the world stands still to listen to so pure and beautiful a sound.

What are you grateful for this week?

The flowers I bought myself this week

I am now officially halfway through The Artist’s Way and twice as far as I’ve ever made it before.  That in and of itself is an accomplishment, but it’s beginning to feel likely that I will complete it this time.

• Week 6 Theme: “Recovering a Sense of Abundance.”  This chapter asks us to tackle our beliefs about money and its connection (or lack thereof) to art.  Artists of all stripes tend to convince themselves that it is not possible to make money by making art, or even worse, that money corrupts art.  Clinging to these beliefs limits the ability for all kinds of abundance to enter our lives because we somehow feel unworthy, or that the art is not worthy.
• Morning Pages: I did the morning pages every day except the day Katie Davis and I recorded the Brain Burps podcast.  I got out of bed that day charged up and ready to go.  What’s interesting now is that I’ll realize I missed later in the day and then everything feels “off” somehow.  I guess that’s what happens when a practice becomes a habit.
• Artist Date:  I had two full days at our Breckenridge ski rental to myself.  I spent most of the time dreaming about and planning not only 2012 but the years beyond.  Then I made a tactical plan to support the goals and dreams.  The time I wasn’t working was spent walking the dog with the views of mountains all around or soaking in the tub with a book.  So yes, I’d say it was one heck of an Artist Date!

Any “Aha” Moments? 

• Because money and abundance is such a charged topic, I actually thought this chapter gave it short shrift.  It dealt mostly with the ways in which we can be miserly with ourselves, suggesting we allow more luxuries, however small, into our lives.  One thing I did was buy myself fresh flowers.  I love the sight and smell of flowers in the house, but I almost never buy them because it seems like such a frivolous use of funds.  I’ve decided that I’ll buy them once a month from now on.  I didn’t notice any additional flow of prosperity into my life as a result of allowing myself that luxury, but maybe over time…
• One thing I realized is that I have to confront my overall fear of numbers. I’ve been living in avoidance of them for so long because I consistently tell myself I’m no good with them.  Can’t do that if you want to run a business and make money.  My most common recurring nightmare is that I have a math exam of some sort coming up and I haven’t attended any of the classes so I know nothing and have no way to pass.  Maybe if I believe I can learn to manage numbers (and actually take steps to learn), I will one day have a dream where I pass that exam!
• Overall, I do believe that doing what you love leads to abundance of all kinds, that there is enough money to go around and that creating art is a worthy livelihood.  I don’t feel deprived in any way.  I’ve always had everything I needed and most the time what I’ve wanted.  I want money to support my family, yes, but I view luxury as experiences – travel, classes, dining, recreation, etc., rather than things.  I view money as the means to have those experiences and the freedom to choose how to live my life.  If there is one word I associate most with money, it is freedom.

A few favorite quotes from the Week 6 chapter:

“Most of us harbor a secret belief that work has to be work and not play, and that anything we really want to do–like write, act, dance–must be considered frivolous and be placed a distant second.”

“When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us.”

“Because art is born in expansion, in a belief in sufficient supply, it is critical that we pamper ourselves for the sense of abundance it brings to us.”

What are your beliefs about money, art, and doing what you love to do?

Week 5 Check-In

Week 4 Check-In

Week 3 Check-In

Week 2 Check-In

Week 1 Check-In

The Artist’s Way

Quotes on Gratitude

“A new year is unfolding – like a blossom with petals curled tightly concealing the beauty within.” — Unknown

“You’ve done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities. Redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.” — Ralph Marston

“Each moment of the year has its own beauty… a picture which was never seen before and shall never be seen again.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Gratitude list for the week ending January 7

1. Author Katie Davis gave me an amazing New Year’s gift by asking me to come on her Brain Burps About Books kidlit podcast.  I’ll be her first guest of 2012, and the interview goes live this Wednesday (so you’ll be hearing more soon )  What an honor and what a way to start the year!!
2. I set four-year goals, which drove my annual goals (including 2012), which drove my monthly goals for 2012.  First time I’ve ever planned this strategically (and tactically), and it feels great!  Goals, not resolutions.
3. Michigan won the Sugar Bowl!!  Bonus video of the song that’s been going through my head all week at the end of the post!  Hint: Def Leppard, 1980s…
4. Laid down my first tracks of the season skiing at Breckenridge
5. Six inches of snowfall on Saturday night
6. The aforementioned deep-soaking jet tub at the Breckenridge rental.  It is heaven on earth.
7. Jay catching snowflakes on his tongue on the chairlift
8. Watching Rocky’s pure, unadulterated joy at running through fresh snow
9. Bright pink mountains in the morning at sunrise, and deep red mountains in the evening at sunset.
10. The astonishing response to the 12 x 12 in 2012 challenge, the support and camaraderie of the group, and the whimsical, phenomenal badge Linda Silvestri made for us.  I’m also grateful for Tara Lazar who kicked us off on Sunday.  I started the 12 x 12 group to inspire other picture book writers, but the participants in the group are inspiring me far more!

What are you grateful for this week?

I believe the reason resolutions often don’t work is because they start from a place of lack, of negativity, of failure.  We think about all the things we weren’t happy with in the previous year and set out to “fix” them in the new one.  Lose weight = I weigh too much.  Save money = I spend too much.  Make more money = I don’t have enough money.  Spend more time with my kids = I’m not doing enough for my kids.  Write more often = I don’t write enough.

If you’ve been reading this blog for any period of time, you know I am all about self-improvement, especially improvement that puts us on a path to self-actualization.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with setting goals, and achieving them is even better.  However, the goals need to be set on a strong foundation.  So I figured, why not start with what I did accomplish this year and set goals from there.  Let’s first celebrate success and then determine how to carry that forward into the New Year, rather than berating ourselves for what did not get done.  Being zen about it, probably everything got done that was supposed to.

Here is my list of what I consider to be my major professional accomplishments this year

• Completed two picture books.  Both are now on submission.
• Was accepted into, and completed, the Rocky Mountain SCBWI mentorship program.
• Drafted a third picture book which is at least halfway to submission-ready
• Completed PiBoIdMo and ended up with 30+ picture book ideas
• Sent 20+ queries over the course of the year
• From those queries, sold one poem and got contracts to write three articles (coming in 2012)
• Entered a picture book in the MeeGenius Children’s Author Challenge and made it to #16 out of 400+ entries
• Learned a TON about online marketing and promotion from the contest.
• Completed four months of group coaching to launch a new project.  I am now about halfway through drafting the business plan for that project (more news on that in 2012)
• Formed a LLC to support my writing business and other projects I launch
• Took a two-month course on blogging to build an author platform.  I have now gone from a high of 2000 hits per month on my blog to a high of nearly 6000 per month.
• Guest posted on several blogs
• Set up an in-person picture book critique group in Boulder
• Attended a digital publishing conference and the Rocky Mountain SCBWI regional conference
• Last, but not least, launched the 12 x 12 in 2012 challenge to write 12 picture books in 12 months.  This is, obviously, one of my major goals for the coming year.

In addition to work accomplishments, three other achievements deserve mention.  One is that I ran a personal best in the Bolder Boulder 10K this year and felt great.  The race also happened to take place right after I turned 40, which felt even better.

Second, I planned, from start to finish, and then took a six-week trip to Italy with my family for the summer.  This trip was the fulfillment of a major dream and life-changing in every possible way.  Although my kids are still young, I think it will turn out to be life-changing for them to have had such an experience.

One of the things the trip to Italy inspired me to do is the third achievement I want to mention.  I wrote a Bucket List.  I saw how rewarding it was to realize even one dream, so I thought I would capture as many more as I could in the hopes of realizing them all.  I am trying not be afraid of dreaming big.  So perhaps a motto for 2012 is Dream Big or Go Home.

For your further contemplation, here are a few other posts with an alternate take on New Year’s Resolutions

Lynnette Burrows doesn’t let Mrs. Darkside win.

Hayley Lavik is not going to change anything next year.

Prudence MacLeod is going to read books by live authors.

Emma Burcart is going to be kind – to herself.

Jennifer Lewis Oliver has never made a New Year’s Resolution.

Myndi Shafer does have a short list of resolutions, which she made in the Nick of Time.

What is your stance on New Year’s Resolutions?  Good thing, bad thing or in-between?

• Week 5 Theme: “Recovering a Sense of Possibility.”  This chapter forces us to examine our limiting thoughts and all the ways in which we sabotage ourselves and our art.  We often want to stay within the safety of appearing good to the outside world as opposed to being our authentic selves.  The ways we sabotage ourselves include never taking time alone, sacrificing creative time to meet the needs of others, scarcity thinking (i.e. if so and so gets a book deal, that’s one less chance for me), discounting possibilities and undermining success.
• Morning Pages: I did the morning pages every day except Christmas.  When the kids wake you up at the crack of dawn bursting with excitement, just try asking them to wait while you write!  And no, I don’t consider that an example of self-sabotage.
• Artist Date:  Given that the whole family is home for to the holidays, there isn’t much solitude.  However, on Monday I did have a few hours to myself.  I used those to write, read and exercise.  Normally I would have convinced myself to work, clean, cook or plan.  Instead I allowed myself to do only enjoyable things.  I supplemented that by waking up early on Tuesday morning to write through some of the questions and tasks from Chapter 5.

Any “Aha” Moments? 

• There is a section in Chapter 5 called “The Virtue Trap” that nearly brought me to tears because I recognized so much of myself there.  Solitude, it says, is mandatory for creatives.  We need it as we need air to breathe.  I have blogged about the importance of solitude before – here and here.  When this chapter asked the question, “Are you self-destructive?” I figured I could say no because I do take time for myself to “fill the well” so to speak.  But what I realize now is that the question is much more nuanced, and my answer is not simple.
• I am good about carving out blocks of time for solitude at least once or twice a year, but I must admit that I have always felt at best strange and at worst terribly selfish about asking for and taking alone time.  The need to be alone doesn’t fit the world’s perception of a good person.  Giving to others always comes before giving to self.  As such, I kept waiting for Cameron to come forward with the section about balance.  That section never came.  This lady does not pull any punches.  She tells you like it is.  If you want to produce art, you need to nurture your creativity.  To nurture your creativity you need time alone.  Every time you sacrifice that need on the altar of other people’s expectations, you die a little inside.  Period.  The End.
• I struggled with this question all week. On the one hand, I felt such relief at seeing another person admit to sharing a need that is so strong within myself.  On the other hand, I still have serious questions about how to take the necessary time while still sharing myself with others.  I know Cameron is not suggesting that all artists go out, be hermits and cut all ties to outside world. I think she is saying is that when we don’t meet our artistic needs, we sabotage ourselves and become more puppet-person than real person.  In so doing, nobody benefits.  I think she is also saying that if we stop sabotaging our true selves, we become closer to others and experience the world more fully.  We might find that the world bends around our need to be alone so that it is not an either/or choice.
• THAT has always been my problem – viewing it as either/or.  My aha moment was realizing that I feel divided most of the time into the “real world” person who functions as everyone expects her to and the “inside” person who rages with creative desire so potent that it tugs at me almost continuously.  I don’t know how to bring these two together, so I’m hoping more answers will emerge as I continue the program.  Obviously my family and friends are just as important to me as my creativity, so I do need to find a way to merge these beings, or at least get them to live in harmony with one another.  For the moment, when I take time for creativity, I feel bad for my family and/or friends.  When I take time for family, friends, or other activities, I feel I am neglecting my artist-writer.  So I need to move from “no-win” to “all-win” situations.  Somehow.

A few favorite quotes from the Week 5 chapter:

“An artist must have downtime, time to do nothing.  Defending our right to such time takes courage, conviction, and resiliency… For an artist, withdrawal is necessary.  Without it, the artist in us feels vexed, angry, out of sorts.  If such deprivation continues, our artist becomes sullen, depressed, hostile..”

“We strive to be good, to be nice, to be helpful, to be un-selfish.  We want to be generous, of service, of the world.  But what we really want is to be left alone.  When we can’t get others to leave us alone, we eventually abandon ourselves.  To others, we may look like we’re there.  We may act like we’re there.  But our true self has gone to ground… Afraid to appear selfish, we lose our self.”

“Many people, caught in the virtue trap, do not appear to be self-destructive to the casual eye.  Bent on being good husbands, fathers, mothers, wives, teachers, whatevers, they have constructed a false self that looks good to the world and meets with a lot of worldly approval…  The true self is a disturbing character, healthy and occasionally anarchistic, who knows how to play, how to say no to others and “yes” to itself.”

Are YOU self-destructive?  Do you sacrifice your creative desire in order to tend to the needs of others?

Week 4 Check-In

Week 3 Check-In

Week 2 Check-In

Week 1 Check-In

The Artist’s Way

This first features my cousin’s daughter, who is an amazing singer and actress.  She recently participated in her high school’s annual Christmas Madrigal Dinner.  The finale was a Nigerian Christmas carol called Betelehemu.  It’s a little on the long side at almost 5 minutes, but I guarantee it will life your spirits.

The second is a pure crack-up from the organized chaos that was my kids’ All-School sing.  Luckily they have a music teacher with a sense of humor.  It’s worth it to watch past the first minute on that one.  Enjoy!

Anyone who’s read the blog at all this week knows that I entered a story in the MeeGenius Children’s Author Challenge, A TROOP IS A GROUP OF MONKEYS.  I started the week at #47 in the rankings (out of 400 entries) with 181 votes.  As of this writing, I was ranked #15 with 479 votes!

I did not gain 298 votes and 32 places in the rankings in the span of 7 days without an enormous amount of help.  In fact, the other night I was driving home and felt so overwhelmed by gratitude, I wondered how I would ever repay the universe (in the form of YOU) for all the good that happened this week.  So, this week’s Gratitude Sunday list will be focused on just a few things among many that gave me cause for gratitude this week.  Many thanks to each and every person who voted for the story, encouraged me with positive feedback and made me believe I could do this.  No matter what the end result of the contest is, I can truly say this has been a phenomenal experience, and one that has made me more certain than ever that I am on the right path.

Quotes on Gratitude

“No one who achieves success does so without the help of others. The wise and confident acknowledge this help with gratitude.”  — Alfred North Whitehead

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another.” — Charles Dickens

“A noble person is mindful and thankful for the favors of others.” — Buddha

Gratitude list for the week ending December 17

1. First on the list is Christine Zandstra, a friend and fellow parent at my kids’ school.  She got one of the first, fairly timid emails I sent out asking people to vote for my story.  She not only praised the book, but suggested that the school and parents get behind it.  She shared the link to my story nearly every day, and was responsible for drawing it to the attention of the school librarian, the principal, and the PTO.  She gave me the confidence that the story really was worth promoting.  I also thank Bina Moser, PTO President, who didn’t hesitate to send a message to parents about the story and ask them to vote when the time drew nigh.
2. Laura Barnes, fellow children’s author and marketing guru who stepped in to give me some extremely helpful advice on how to promote the story.  I think the results speak for themselves, but even more than her specific tactics, what helped me the most was the fact that she gave me permission to go out and go for it.  I learned more in one week about marketing than I would have in a year were it not for her.
3. Julie Berghoff and Sheila Gil, two very good friends and fellow Margareaders.  At a party Monday night, they both insisted I was still being too shy and urged me to go out and ask people to share my story within their networks.  They both proceeded to do that the very next day, in the nicest way possible, without even waiting for me to ask.  The very definition of a good friend.
4. The Gaylord Herald Times, the local paper of my hometown, stepped in on very short notice to write a “hometown girl makes good” story.  Neighbors and childhood friends I hadn’t heard from in years saw the story and voted.  One 82 year-old woman, who doesn’t have a computer, clipped the article from the paper to take with her on her visit to her children so they could vote for her.
5. Speaking of Gaylord, my high school friends went above and beyond to help.  Posting and re-posting the story.  Cheering me on.  The ties that bind, as they say…
6. Fellow bloggers and writers Nancy Hatch, Debbie Diesen, and C.B. Wentworth hosted me on very short notice for an impromptu blog tour.  Their readers stepped in and provided both votes and encouragement.  Thank you!
7. There are too many to name individually, but the folks who entered the contest I posted last Sunday have blogged about the story, promoted it on Facebook, and tweeted it every single day to their followers.  It made a huge difference, and I am so thankful for their support.
8. For the past two months, I have participated in a blogging class for writers led by Kristen Lamb based on her best-selling book on the subject – We Are Not Alone.  As a result, the 100 members of WANA 1011 supported me wholeheartedly and helped me spread the word.  A special shout-out to Diane Capri who, like Christine and Laura, told me to just go out and ask people for help and forget about being shy or afraid.  So I did. (I hope you’re not regretting that now Diane! )  But to all the members of the WANA team, you have proven that the title of Kristen’s book is true.
9. My brother Jeff, who has a fierce competitive streak, jumped in on Wednesday to galvanize his extensive network.  I’m pretty sure I had the biggest jump that day, plus the pleasure of two-days worth of texting back and forth about my ranking and how far I had to go to move to the next one.
10. Last, but most definitely not least, I am immensely grateful for every last person who voted for my story, offered an encouraging word, or shared the link with others.  It turns out it really does take a village, and I am blessed to live in such a generous one.

What are you grateful for this week?

“It’s a book about everything I love,” he said.

Chapter 1:

Mom

Em

Dad

Rocky

Chapter 2:

Family — He then clarified, “That’s the WHOLE family – like all THIRTY of them.”

Chapter 1000:

F A M I L Y !!!!

I told him, honestly, that it was the best book I ever read!

Quotes on Gratitude

“Let your hook always be cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish.” — Ovid

“Desire, ask, believe, receive.” — Stella Terrill Mann

“A person however learned and qualified in his life’s work in whom gratitude is absent, is devoid of that beauty of character which makes personality fragrant.” — Hazrat Inayat Khan

Gratitude List for the week ending December 3

1. I am so grateful for EVERYONE who has voted so far for my entry in the MeeGenius Children’s Author contest.  Your support means so much to me, regardless of the outcome.
2. Finishing PiBoIdMo as a Winner – woo hoo!  Wrap-up post coming soon!
3. The incredible response to the launch of the 12 x 12 in 2012 Picture Book Writing Challenge. As of this writing, we’re up to 82 participants!!
4. My homemade lasagna, even though the kids didn’t like it
5. The gorgeous field I get to walk Rocky in each day.  It’s beautiful in every season (see video above).
6. Em had her second audition for a new play and thinks she did very well.
7. Speaking with a long-distance friend on the phone
8. Despite the hassle it brings, I’m grateful for the snow.  We want a White Christmas AND a great ski season!!
9. I am trying to be grateful for the fact that I can’t read this week.  I am assuming that I will learn a great deal and the experience will be worthwhile.  I also appreciate the words of support and sympathy from friends.
10. Flannel sheets

What are you grateful for this week?