On the other hand, I am uncomfortable with the jubilation and celebration on display throughout the country, even though I understand the sentiment.

I understand the sentiment because I was in the D.C. area that day.  Here are a few personal remembrances:

• Watching planes landing one after the other at Dulles airport from my office window.
• Gathering with co-workers around a tiny television and watching in pure disbelief as the South Tower collapsed.
• My father-in-law worked in the Reagan Building downtown and was evacuated.  I picked him up at the East Falls Church metro station, which transfers from the Blue Line – which stops at Pentagon City.  Everywhere people were running, crying, hugging.  Some were bloody and soot-covered.
• My sister-in-law had just dropped two of her children off at their preschool, which was a mile away from the Pentagon.  She went to a Target nearby and felt the explosion in the aftermath of the plane hitting the Pentagon.  Thank goodness my niece and nephew were okay, but listening to her relate her fear and confusion on the drive back to the school still makes my stomach twist with grief.
• One of my best friends from college saw the second plane hit the South Tower from her office window in New York.  She became one of the throngs of people who ran from the collapsing building, and ended up covered from head to toe in soot, ash and debris, but thankfully alive.
• When my father finally got through to us on the phone that night, he cried – something that rarely happened.  The lines were busy for hours in both D.C. and New York, so loved ones everywhere had to spend that time in agony wondering if friends and family were okay.
• A couple of weeks later, I went to a business dinner near the Pentagon.  When I left it was dark.  I took a wrong turn and ended up right in front of the gaping maw of the Pentagon.  Seeing the devastation there made me understand how much deeper the scar would be in New York.  I could barely drive home for the tears I cried.
• We lived a couple of miles away from the CIA building, so day after day after day, and night after night after night, fighter jets swirled around our house, rattling the windows and shaking the floors.  I would wake up in the middle of the night sweating and with the taste of ashes in my mouth after dreaming of planes and bombs and fire.  To this day I cannot stand the sound of military aircraft.

Likewise, there are stories of others that haunt me to this day.

• A woman whose husband called her from one of the upper floors of the North Tower (above the point of impact), to tell her he loved her and to ask her if she “knew where the paperwork was.”
• A woman whose daughter, and five-year old granddaughter were on one of the two planes that hit the twin towers and her daughter’s best friend was on the other.  They were planning to surprise the little girl, who thought she was going to New York to visit an aunt, but instead they were taking her to Disney World on a connecting flight.
• A woman whose sonogram for her first child, initially scheduled for the morning of September 11th, was rescheduled for the 12th.  If the date hadn’t changed, her husband wouldn’t have been at work in the towers that morning.
• A man clinging to the side of the tower as helicopters circled around, unable to find a way to rescue him before he let go.
• And on and on and on…

So yes, I do understand the sentiment expressed on the front page of one New York paper this morning:

I understand it, but I don’t agree with it.  For one thing, I believe bin Laden was already in hell, even while still alive.  Whether he was conscious of it or not, he was in a hell of his own making; he had to be in order to perpetrate such horror and live in such madness.

But death is not something that should be celebrated in this fashion.  Celebrations should be reserved for joyful events, such as one that occurred the day before — the Royal Wedding.  Even if bin Laden’s death was considered a necessary part of dismantling Al Qaeda and similar terrorists’ networks, there is no joy in anything associated with him.

On September 18, 2001, I wrote these words to a foreign friend of mine in response to the question of whether the U.S. would retaliate indiscriminately in response to the attacks (Keep in mind that all of the events that happened subsequently in Afghanistan and Iraq were still yet to come).

“There are certainly Americans who want to lash out at others indiscriminately in order to venge the attack on the U.S. last week.  The senseless attacks against Arab Americans are the worst form of evidence that this (minority) view exists.  I am not one of them, nor, do I believe, is our government.  Whatever anyone’s views on U.S. foreign policy has been in the past, I do not think there is a single person in the free world that truly believes that killing innocent people for revenge is what America stands for, or what we aim for in the aftermath of this crisis.”

Yet when you see people partying in the streets, it does make bin Laden’s death seem foremost like a revenge killing.  What bothers me is that I remember those same kinds of celebrations in the streets of Afghanistan and elsewhere after the 9/11 attacks themselves.  If we want to separate ourselves from that kind of hatred, we must hold ourselves to a higher standard of behavior and discourse.  Otherwise we only pay lip service to the ideals we are supposed to stand for and protect.

At the end of that same letter to my friend, I wrote:

“My opinions are rooted in watching the horror that has unfurled itself around our country this week, and the love and unity that has driven it back out.  Yes, our opinions will probably differ.  Quite honestly, that is the very nature of what is at stake here.  The ability for you and me to have very different views and opinions and still be able to co-exist peacefully on this planet.”

In other words, I wish we were not celebrating what divides us, but focusing on what unites us.  Dwight D. Eisenhower once said, “Peace and justice are two sides of the same coin.”  If that is indeed the case, and bin Laden’s death is a form of justice, let us now turn to peace.  Peace is the only way forward.

“There is no time left for anything but to make peacework a dimension of our every waking activity.”  — Elise Boulding

Thank you for enduring such a personal post, and a more political one than I usually write on this blog.  It was one I felt I had to write, to bring my own thoughts and feelings that began on September 11, 2001 full circle in light of yesterday’s news.

BUT – I have some exciting posts coming up starting next week.  First, I’m going to jump into the ebook/self-publishing fray with several posts, beginning with highlights from a Jane Friedman Webinar I attended through Writer’s Digest.  I’m also lining up more picture book authors for my How I Got My Agent series which I realize has grown cobwebs over the last month.  And of course, there will still be Gratitude Sunday.

With that, I will leave you with some totally random thoughts that have crossed my mind this week.  And by random, I mean random.

• At what age to men unlearn the fact that black calf-length socks worn with shorts and sneakers is not a good look.  Guys – just don’t.  Not ever.
• Is there anyone else who thinks the Jolly Green Giant’s leafy tunic should be at least a few inches longer?  I mean, it doesn’t even cover the critical
  

  Feeling drafty?

  parts.  Remember when Jerry Falwell went haywire over the fact that the Tinky Winky Teletubby (supposedly a male character) carried a purse and had a triangle over his head.  Falwell claimed Tinky Winky was included in the series as a gay role model for young children.  You’d think the Green Giant would have been lower hanging fruit for him, as it were.

• Did you know that the BBC’s response to the criticism was: “Tinky Winky is simply a sweet, technological baby with a magic bag.  He’s not gay. He’s not straight. He’s just a character in a children’s series.” Deep thoughts…
• Speaking of Deep Thoughts, does anyone remember Jack Handey’s from Saturday Night Live?  I loved them so much I bought a book of them.  Here’s one of my favorites: “Somebody told me how frightening it was how much topsoil we are losing, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.”
• And one just for writers: “I hope some animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs in my brain, because later you might think you’re having a good idea but it’s just eggs hatching.”

Have a great weekend everyone!

In other news, I recently donned my hard hat to do some major construction on my blogrolls.  I hadn’t looked at them for weeks, and they were a total mess.  There were bloggers there with whom I hadn’t had contact with in months, and plenty of blogs that I read religiously that weren’t there at all. (I’m talking to you Corey Schwartz, Tara Lazar, Julie Musil, etc….)  I’ve also been reorganizing blogs into categories that I hope make better sense and make it easier for you to find other interesting blogs.

I am certain there are some blogs that have gotten lost in the shuffle, so if I used to list you and you don’t see your blog anymore, drop me a note in the comments.  I can promise you it’s not because I don’t love you or your blog.  Rather, I worked on this project in between cooking, doing laundry, walking the dog and, every once in a while, interacting my kids.  Make sure to look for both your name and your blog name; in some cases I’ve switched from one to the other.

If you have a moment, please look through the categories and let me know if I’m missing anything/anyone.  I’m a bit light on Editor blogs and could use some ideas there, but any and all suggested additions are welcome.  Drop in on some of these blogs if you have the time.  I’ve taken a lot of care with my list.  If a blog is there, it’s because I read it, enjoy it and learn something from it regularly.

Finally, if you enjoy this blog and like what you read, please consider putting me on your blog list.  We’re all looking to reach people after all.  If you list me and I haven’t listed you, please let me know.  I always like to reciprocate if possible.

Thanks so much!  So glad that chore is completed!

1. Obsessing about all the coverage of the SCBWI conference in LA that I am missing.
2. Panicking about the hundreds – maybe thousands – of posts that you will have piled up in my absence and that will be waiting for me when I return.
3. Worrying that I am going to miss that single, critical nugget of advice that would have expedited my path to publishing.

See, here’s the deal: you work for me, not the other way around.  So you have fun doing all your information gathering and I’ll get back to you in a week.  And I may not even read everything that you collect for me.  So there!

Julie

P.S.  I had my fingers crossed behind my back the whole time I wrote this letter…

1. My greatest athletic achievement was a rim to river, three-day backpacking trip in the Grand Canyon, complete with a 35 lb. pack.
2. Once, in a fit of rage, I threw a can of soup at my brother.  Well, just the soup (which had been opened), not the can.  Our dog enjoyed licking it off the walls.
3. Don’t feel too bad for him.  He once used me as target practice for his B.B. gun.
4. I was a cheerleader in middle and high school.
5. When I was in sixth grade, I began a short story with this sentence: “He was a light in a world of darkness, an oasis in a lonely desert.”
6. As a kid, I used to drink pickle juice straight from the jar.
7. I love to wear red – especially sweaters, shoes and lipstick.
8. I once belonged to the official Scott Baio fan club and sent him many, many letters, all of which went unanswered.
9. I totaled our SUV on the way to my own wedding shower.  I was miraculously unharmed.
10. I found out I was pregnant with Em on Mother’s Day 2002.
11. I love public speaking.
12. I wore a hoop skirt under all four of my prom dresses.
13. The most luxurious vacation I ever took was to Fiji for my honeymoon.  Every evening, Phil and I sat on the beach at sunset while drinking champagne and nibbling on cheese and fruit.
14. My exact words when my water broke and I went into labor with Jay were, “Son of a b—-!”  In my defense, he was 3 1/2 weeks early and I was nowhere near ready – not even a bag packed.
15. Precisely 3 hours and 11 minutes later, I held Jay in my arms
16. With both of my kids, I went into labor at midnight on a Wednesday in January.
17. As a little girl, my favorite pretend game to play with my friends was Little House on the Prairie.  We always fought over who got to be Laura.
18. One of the best birthday presents I ever got was when I was in the eighth grade.  I had a huge crush on a boy my brother’s age (a senior in high school at the time), and my brother gave me his football jersey to borrow for a month.  I was so happy I didn’t even think about how embarrassed I should have been.
19. I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar… when some guy grabbed my throat because I cut him off.  Dane, the bouncer, threw him down the stairs.  It was quite a scene.  Now try getting that song out of your head.
20. I used to have birthday parties for my dogs.
21. I got my MA in International Political Economy (IPE) from the University of Warwick in England.
22. Tea, not coffee
23. Dogs, not cats
24. Coke, not Pepsi
25. Edward, not Jacob
26. I much prefer wood fires to gas.
27. The one thing I could never get enough time to do is read.
28. My all-time favorite book is A Prayer for Owen Meany, by John Irving
29. I watched the moon rise over the Ponte Vecchio bridge in Florence.
30. I am a born and bred Michigan Wolverine – also a graduate.
31. Ohio State sucks.  Oops, that’s not a fact about me – just a fact. (Sorry, couldn’t resist)
32. Favorite U.S. city: San Francisco, with Seattle a close second.
33. My favorite Chef Boyardee product is Beefaroni.
34. The first soap opera I watched was All My Children.
35. I cried at the end of the final Friends episode.
36. I once owned a copy of The Official Preppy Handbook.  Izods anyone?
37. My favorite movie theater candy is Sour Patch Kids.
38. All-time favorite song: Silent All These Years by Tori Amos
39. My most frequent recurring dream is that I’m back in school and have to take a final exam for a math class I never knew I was signed up for.
40. I have seen the movies Sixteen Candles and Dirty Dancing at least 25 times each.
41. I ran a half marathon and I’m still bitter about how many hills there were. (Note: avoid Baltimore Half Marathon like plague)
42. Favorite gospel song: Down in the River to Pray
43. I can dance the Macarena.
44. Country I’ve visited that has the best beaches: Greece
45. Number one reason why I am not a vegetarian: bacon
46. Number one reason why I am not a vegan: cheese (also #45)
47. Bellybuttons totally gross me out, and I can’t stand to have my bellybutton touched.  So if you see me in person, don’t touch my bellybutton!
48. I like my steak cooked medium-rare.  When I was a child, I referred to this as “steak with red on the back.”
49. I have never been to Australia, New Zealand, Africa or South America.  All are on my wish list.
50. The only color I like to paint my toenails is red.  Every time I try another color I end up disappointed.
51. I had planned on studying to be a veterinarian until I failed calculus in college (see #35 for recurring math nightmare)
52. I spoke to Paul Volker on the phone and helped him prepare Congressional testimony.  He sounds just like he looks.
53. I met David Sedaris at a book signing.  He signed two of my books and on one of them, drew a turtle with the head of Abraham Lincoln.  This makes perfect sense (i.e. no sense) if you’re a Sedaris fan (which I am).
54. Best live concert: Prince - the artist known as Prince formerly known as the artist formerly known as Prince
55. Most disappointing live concert – Tori Amos
56. Causes: American Heart Association, Defenders of Wildlife, Natural Resources Defense Council, Planned Parenthood, Unicef, Green America, Humane Society, Hope for Madagascar, NPR and PBS.  I am also a regular Kiva lender.
57. Favorite Christmas song: Little Drummer Boy
58. One thing I wish I had in my house: a claw foot bathtub
59. Least favorite household chore: folding laundry
60. Foods I love as an adult that I never tasted as a child: avocados, artichokes, hummus, black beans
61. Two foods I hate: peas and meatloaf
62. My favorite way to eat peaches is raw, over the sink, with the juice dribbling down my chin and elbows.
63. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is my favorite of the Narnia Chronicles.
64. Favorite art museum: The Tate Gallery in London
65. Favorite National Park: Grand Teton
66. Undergraduate college major: Political Science
67. Scariest movie I ever saw: The Blair Witch Project
68. Favorite musical: Les Miserables, which I saw at the Palace Theatre in London.
69. In college, I went to Washington D.C. to cover the protest of the first Iraq war for The Michigan Daily.
70. I have lived in two countries (the U.S. and U.K.) and three states in the U.S. (Michigan, Virginia/D.C. Metro, and Colorado).
71. My favorite ride at Disney’s Magic Kingdom is Pirates of the Caribbean.
72. I have seen all five of the Great Lakes.
73. At our dude ranch vacation last year, I won the women’s horsemanship award.
74. I love taking afternoon naps.
75. Almost everything I cook has garlic in it.
76. Favorite Christmas special: How the Grinch Stole Christmas
77. When I am at home in the winter, I am almost always in my pajamas.
78. I love the smell of lilacs and hyacinths.
79. The worst meal I ever made was vegetarian Shepherd’s Pie – just don’t.
80. Favorite unusual cheese: Halloumi from Cyprus.  You can grill it and it doesn’t melt.
81. My dad took me on a business trip to Detroit when I was five.  I was so scared I hid in the closet while he took a shower.
82. My favorite way to spend an evening is on the patio with good friends, good food, and free-flowing red wine.
83. I love yoga, but don’t take nearly enough time to practice.
84. One of the most influential books I read was Fast Food Nation.  It changed almost everything about the way I think about and prepare food.
85. Favorite Gilligan’s Island character: the Professor
86. My mom is my best friend.
87. My only natural athletic ability is being flexible.  The rest are gained by sweating buckets.
88. I am addicted to buying cookbooks.
89. I am now a firm believer in the statement, “Once you go Mac, you never go back.”
90. I only like margaritas on the rocks with a salt rim.
91. I wish I could dance for real (the Macarena doesn’t count).
92. One piece of advice I will give my kids that I wish I’d gotten myself is to do what you love vs. what you think will make you the most money.
93. One piece of advice I will give my kids that I did get (and heeded) is that education is your passport to freedom and choice.  Get the best one you can and dedicate yourself to doing your best.
94. In ten years I hope to be: a multi-published author and the mother of two very well-behaved teenagers.
95. If I could go backwards in time, the era I would revisit would be the college years – not to change anything, just to have all that fun again.
96. My greatest fantasy is to be on the Oprah show – having done something worthy of being featured on the Oprah show.
97. Social Media sites where I am active: Facebook, Twitter, LibraryThing, Bookmooch
98. I have visited 289 cities in 22 countries.
99. Book character I wish was real: Aragorn from Lord of the Rings.
100. It was a LOT more difficult to come up with 100 random things about myself than I thought it would be.

And it’s not because I got a wild hair and started reliving my college days.  No – instead it was the decidedly unglamorous stomach bug that’s been working its way through the family – first Jay, then me, now Em.  Phil is unscathed so far.

I also used many gallons of water because the only way to soothe my aching muscles was to soak them in hot, hot water.  So I did.  Several times.  So Earth Day didn’t have a whole lot of earthiness to it, but I am glad to be back in the land of the living.  At least I didn’t miss too much in terms of weather.  Here’s Rocky in the snow this morning.  Yes, you read that correctly: snow.  In late April.

The dreary day made for great conditions for a long cozy nap with Em this morning, though. 

Who else could make scrubs look so good?

For example, a couple of nights ago I dreamt I got hired to play a new character on Grey’s Anatomy.  I was the plucky “new girl” coming in to stir things up with the cast.  As such, I was assigned a kissing scene with none other than Dr. Derek Shepherd, a.k.a. “McDreamy.”  Pretty plum assignment for a first-time actress, wouldn’t you say?  With all of the highest respect and love going out to my husband, , I ask you ladies: who wouldn’t line up for a makeout scene with Patrick Dempsey, if for no other reason than to be able to put your hands in that hair!

Anyway, after we were finished shooting the episode, the producers told me they wanted to hire me for a full arc, and if that went well, maybe more.  Needless to say I was ecstatic, and starting calling all of my friends and family to tell them the news and to be prepared to set their DVRs to record my big debut – set to air in a couple of weeks.

Then, the night before the first show aired, I got a voicemail from my brother.  He said, “I haven’t seen your show yet, but a bunch of my friends have, and they were asking me why you were wearing a black bra underneath a pink shirt.”

Lo, I suddenly remembered the dressing room fiasco, where I was called in to film the scene at the last minute and threw on the first thing I saw.

What’s hilarious is that this is so typical of something my brother would actually say to me.  We have a great relationship, but to this day, he is the person most likely to get a serious rise out of me with his teasing.  Big brothers consider the role of persecutors (but also protectors) to little sisters a lifetime gig, I guess.  He would be the only person who could make me go from being thrilled about getting a scene with one of the country’s hottest actors on one of its most popular shows, to mortified about exposing myself to millions of people in inappropriate lingerie.

What is the point of this story?  Don’t ask me.  I am sure there is some deep, dark meaning associated with having a pinnacle moment of success eclipsed by embarrassment and doubt, but I am not an interpreter of dreams, just a viewer of them.  I share the story only because I thought it was funny and had a bizarre urge to write about it.  Perhaps it’s because it was a nice interlude from the stream of varying dreams I have of being back in school and “forgetting” that I had enrolled for a class (usually math) and, despite having no previous exposure to the material, now have to sit for an exam and either pass or lose my degree.  Nobody has to tell me the meaning of that dream…

In someone else’s home, the heat is Quiet’s breath and the ticking clock it’s heartbeat.  Quiet makes no demands on you here.  You can wrap it around yourself like a blanket.  If you could see Quiet, it would look very much like the photo in this post – shades of black and gray and white.