But I am more beautiful at 40 than I was at 20.  How can this be so?

• At 20, I had no idea what I wanted to do or be in my life.  At 40, I have finally not only found my path, I am walking on it.
• At 20, I was self-conscious and plagued by self-doubt.  At 40, I am comfortable in my own skin and happy with who and what I am.
• At 20, I stuffed my body into multiple layers of baggy clothes because I thought I was too heavy.  At 40, I do not hide my body in oversized clothes, but wear things that accentuate its strengths – curves and all!
• At 20, I couldn’t run a mile.  At 40, I can run 10.
• At 20, I thought my body was weak.  At 40, I know it’s power, for I have borne two children (one without benefit of drugs!), fattened them from my breasts, and have gone on to run a half marathon, take up yoga, ski better than I ever have, hike, gallop a horse, and so on.  And I can STILL do the splits!
• At 20, I concerned myself with what others thought of me.  At 40, I concern myself with what I think of me.
• At 20, I saw things in black and white.  At 40, I see things in a thousand shades of gray.

I do not mean to criticize my 20 year-old self.  She did the best she could with what she had at the time.  She had her strengths and her moments of greatness.  But I now know that beauty is rooted in confidence, and confidence is something I have in far greater abundance at 40 than I did at 20.  True beauty does come from within and radiates out.  Beauty that goes in the opposite direction is at best, fleeting and at worst, false.

Me at age 20

I participated in this blogfest to celebrate the many beautiful women I am blessed to call family and friends.  It seems appropriate that in February, the month of love, we turn that love toward ourselves and rejoice in the beauty we are.

One of those beautiful friends is August McLaughlin, the creator of the blogfest.  She recently shared one of the most incredible, touching and brave stories I’ve ever read, and it was that story which inspired me to take part in this blogfest.  It’s called, Does Dirt Have Calories? Read it.

Also, be sure to go to August’s blog tomorrow to read many more inspiring stories of the Beauty of a Woman.

Me on my 40th birthday

• Week 10 Theme: “Recovering a Sense of Self-Protection.”  This chapter asks us to examine any toxic patterns that we use to block our creative path and how to overcome them.
• Morning Pages: I missed a couple of days over the weekend because I was getting up SO EARLY to go skiing.  Got right back into them though.
• Artist Date: I’m still participating in a free online business boot camp called Women on Purpose, and the calls are so inspiring I’m considering them my artist date.  Probably a cop-out, but that’s the best I can do right now.

Any “Aha” Moments? 

• Some of the self-inflicted blocks to creativity mentioned in Chapter 10 include alcohol, food, obsessive love, etc.  Another is workaholism, which I
  

  Social Media. A boon, a block or both?

  at first dismissed as not applicable.  After all, I’m doing work I love, and I don’t have a day job that gets in the way of my creative time.  However, this book was written 20 years ago, well before the explosion of the Internet and Social Media in particular.  It’s tricky because so much of what I do online is work-related, but I also realize that I am often seduced into tinkering around on social media sites when I should be creating.  Updating Twitter and Facebook, blogging and commenting on blogs can seem like “real” work – and sometimes it is – but very often it’s also procrastination, or even worse, total avoidance.  It’s also a bottomless pit.  There is no way to be “finished” with social media tasks.

• Once again I am examining the amount of time I spend on social media to see if there is a way to balance it more with creative time.  For one thing, I know I have to let go of the guilt I’ve been feeling lately around not being able to comment on as many blogs, or even respond to comments on my own blog.  I genuinely want to support others’ blogs and acknowledge the folks who support mine, but I also know that if I keep going at the pace I kept before the 12 x 12 challenge started, I would never get any writing done.  So I’m still working on striking the right balance. Cameron emphasizes that the things we use to block are not bad in and of themselves (and in fact can be good).  The key is acknowledging when we are abusing them to block ourselves.

A few favorite quotes from the Week 10 chapter:

“If creativity is like a burst of the universe’s breath through the straw that is each of us, we pinch that straw whenever we pick up one of our blocks.  We shut down our flow. And we do it on purpose.”

“There is a difference between zestful work toward a cherished goal and workaholism.  That difference lies less in the hours than it does in the emotional quality of the hours spent.“

“We are the origin of our art, it’s homeland. Viewed this way, originality is the process of remaining true to ourselves.”

Do you have creative blocks?  How do you attempt to overcome them?

Weeks 8 & 9 Check-In

Week 7 Check-In

Week 6 Check-In

Week 5 Check-In

Week 4 Check-In

Week 3 Check-In

Week 2 Check-In

Week 1 Check-In

The Artist’s Way

I am thrilled to welcome Stacy Jensen today for the inaugural post in this series.  Stacy was one of my first regular blog followers, and she also hosted me on her blog for my very first guest post.  She is generous with her time and talent, and you can find the myriad ways to find and contact her at the end of this post.  Without further adieu, here is Stacy.

Which way to go with your writing? Photo credit: Stacy Jensen

Write Without Rules

Do you ever get confused about what to write? I do.

I read about writing rules on blogs and in books. I hear, “Oh, you can’t do that” in critique groups.  Or, “That’s a tough topic in this market.”

As I’ve been studying the craft of writing picture books, I decided to say “No more” to this chatter when I write. I turn off the rule checklist, stare at a blank piece of paper and go for it.

Last year, I wrote my first intentional picture book manuscript for a Society of Children’s Book Writers & Illustrators’ retreat. As I faced a deadline, I researched the basics of how to write a picture book, but realized I needed to scrap them and just write.

Here’s what I did:

I wrote in rhyme. I’m not very good at it. I should be in rhyming jail, but I did it anyway.

I drew a map of my main character’s neighborhood. I’m not an artist, but the black squiggles helped me visualize where my main character misbehaved in the story.

I studied my ABCs by creating a list of words for my story. It pushed me to not only consider the setting, but also the things, people and places my characters encounter in their world. Plus, I had to find logical items for Q, X, and Z.

I gave myself permission to be a newbie. I signed up for the retreat to learn. I submitted my manuscript to the published author in charge and my small group with no regret.

My drafts are layers in a larger project. Each draft is helping me reach my goal of submitting polished stories to an agent or publisher. I spend non-writing time studying trends, writing tips and word counts. These rules are applied to my story during the revision process.

Just like my son doesn’t like to hear “No” all the time, neither do the stories in my head. They just want to escape and explore the page for a bit before reality reels them in.

So, I’m writing my 12 x 12 in 2012 drafts like there are no rules.

How are rules part of your writing routine?  Can you live without them or do you need them?

Stacy S. Jensen worked as a newspaper reporter and editor for two decades. Today, she mothers a toddler at home, one boy in her picture book manuscripts, and a memoir manuscript. She does this with no rules in mind during the draft stage. You can find Stacy on her blog - http://stacysjensen.blogspot.com, Twitter - http://twitter.com/StacySJensen, and Facebook -  http://www.facebook.com/StacySJensen

Snow sculpture illuminated by colored spotlights

Much to be grateful for this week!

Quotes on Gratitude

“Happiness is the settling of the soul into its most appropriate spot.” — Aristotle

“Deficiency motivation doesn’t work. It will lead to a life-long pursuit of try to fix me. Learn to appreciate what you have and where and who you are.” — Wayne Dyer

“Many times a day I realize how much my own life is built on the labours of my fellowmen, and how earnestly I must exert myself in order to give in return as much as I have received.” — Albert Einstein

Gratitude list for the week ending February 4

1. Getting to ski and hang out with great friends, including my bestest girlfriend!
2. Witnessing more than one beautiful sunrise reflecting on the mountains
3. Completing my January picture book draft for the 12 x 12 challenge
4. The incredible community of writers that have come together for the 12 x 12.  They inspire me daily.
5. Finishing one good book and starting another
6. Reading THE LAST OF THE REALLY GREAT WHANGDOODLES with the kids
7. Skype
8. Writing the last page of a lovely journal (was a gift from the friend above). Great way to end Week 9 of The Artist’s Way.
9. Snow sculptures in Breckenridge
10. A long nap on a day I felt under the weather

What are you grateful for this week?

My first FULL morning pages journal

Per my post last week, I’m combining Weeks 8 and 9 into one check-in. It is way later than usual because, well, the vagaries of life got in the way this week – grocery shopping, cooking dinner, transporting kids all over hell’s half-acre.  BUT, this one is a doozy so hold onto your seats!

• Week 8 Theme: “Recovering a Sense of Strength.”  This chapter focuses on surviving artistic losses by turning them into gains.  It also works on freeing us from using time as an avoidance strategy and creative block.
• Week 9 Theme: “Recovering a Sense of Compassion.”  This chapter deals with our biggest creative blocks – the internal ones.  We learn that creative blocks are born from fear and only fear, and that it is artist-abuse to call it anything else – laziness, untalented, unworthy, etc.
• Morning Pages: I missed a couple of days over the past two weeks, even though I didn’t intend to.  Here’s what I’ve learned about morning pages.  If I say to myself, “I’ll do them later,” I won’t.  They have to get done first thing after I wake up or they just don’t get done.
• Artist Date: I didn’t go anywhere, but I did indulge myself in a couple of different activities.  First, I have been participating in a free online business boot camp called Women on Purpose.  The calls are an hour a day a few days a week.  Normally I would not allow myself the luxury of a whole hour to do something that is seemingly not directly related to my work.  What I’ve found, however, is that the topics addressed on these calls ARE directly related to how I want to run my business.  They are fun, encouraging and inspiring to listen to.  Second, when I found myself feeling run down this week, I allowed myself a couple of long naps in the late morning.  Very restorative.

Any “Aha” Moments? 

• Chapter 8: One of the tasks for the week was a “memory mining” exercise.  I discovered that I had done several things in my youth to sabotage my budding writer.  Out of nowhere, I remembered that in my freshman year, my creative writing professor wanted to submit a couple of my papers (which were really personal essays) for publication.  I said no.  He encouraged me to take more creative writing courses.  I didn’t.  I know exactly why I didn’t, which I’m not going to say here, but what’s amazing is that I had forgotten ALL about it.  From there, I was able to remember other things I did over the years to squash myself before anybody else could.  Must. Stop. Doing That.
• Chapter 9: The big assignment this week was to read the morning pages so far.  Wow.  In a way, that was extremely painful, and in another way, both enlightening and encouraging.  All along I’ve been pleased with my progress.  Just making it to Week 10 is an achievement.  Yet, I hadn’t yet felt that I’d experienced any major transformation.  Well, I was wrong.  My early pages contain lots of name-calling (of myself), feelings of lack – of accomplishment, creativity, discipline, etc.  Somewhere in the middle of my journal (because I have now filled an entire book!), more often than not the name-calling and feelings of inadequacy gave way to insights, ideas and excitement.  After I finished reading, I started thinking about all I have done and everything that has happened since I began November 9, 2011.  A few examples:

A few favorite quotes from the Week 8 chapter:

“Creativity cannot be comfortably quantified in intellectual terms… (T)he entire thrust of intellectualism runs counter to the creative impulse. For an artist, to become overly cerebral is to become crippled.”

“Pain that is not used profitably quickly solidifies into a leaden heart, which makes any action difficult. When faced with a loss, immediately take one small action to support your artist.“

“At the heart of the anorexia of artistic avoidance is the denial of process. We like to focus on having learned a skill or having made an artwork. This attention to final form ignores the fact that creativity lies not in the done but in the doing.”

A few favorite quotes from the Week 9 chapter:

“Fear is the true name for what ails the blocked artist. It may be fear of failure or fear of success. Most frequently, it is the fear of abandonment.”

“(B)eing an artist requires enthusiasm more than discipline… Enthusiasm (from the Greek, “filled with God”) is an ongoing energy supply tapped into the flow of life itself. Enthusiasm is grounded in play, not work.”

“Remember that art is process. The process is supposed to be fun.”

How have you overcome avoidance (fear) and/or internal blocks to your art?

Week 7 Check-In

Week 6 Check-In

Week 5 Check-In

Week 4 Check-In

Week 3 Check-In

Week 2 Check-In

Week 1 Check-In

The Artist’s Way

For more books with resources please visit author Susanna Leonard Hill’s blog and find the tab for Perfect Picture Books!

First a couple of reminders.

Reminder #1: In order to be eligible to win one of the 12 x 12 in 2012 giveaways you must 1) be an official member (you should know who you are by now), and 2) leave a comment on the “first of the month” post by that month’s featured author.  So using January as an example, you would have had to sign up for the challenge by January 29th AND have left a comment on Tara Lazar’s (this month’s featured author) January 1st post.

That gets you one point.

Reminder #2: If you want to earn a second point, you must 1) first make yourself eligible for the first point (see above), 2) write a picture book draft in that month, and 3) leave a comment on the monthly check-in post on the last day of the month stating that you wrote a draft.  You do NOT need to submit a draft of your manuscript or write a post on your own blog in order to be eligible for the second point.  Using January again as an example, you would have received another point if you completed the requirements of #1, and then completed a draft and let us know in the comments section of the check-in post I put up on January 31st.

The drawings will work this way each month.

I am adding a new requirement going forward.  If your blog comments come up with anything other than your first AND last name, you must also leave your name in both your comment on the first of the month post and the check-in post.  Some people’s comments show up as their blog names, a nickname, or a first name only.  This makes it very difficult to determine who is who without checking URLs, going back to the sign-up sheet, etc., thereby drastically increasing the workload associated with sorting out points.  This new requirement will be effective starting with the February monthly check-in post on the 29th.  However, if you have already left your comment on February author George Shannon’s post, I would GREATLY appreciate it if you could go back and check to see how your name comes up.  If it is anything other than your first AND last name, please reply to your own comment and leave your full name. Thanks a gajillion.

Now, onto the moment you’ve all been waiting for… The winner of this month’s giveaway, a critique from the lovely Tara Lazar IS …..

MONICA LeMASTER !!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations Monica, and to EVERYONE who completed a draft in January.  What a great start to the year!!

Monica, I will forward your email to Tara so the two of you can determine next steps.  Congratulations again.

Keep writing everyone!!!

It feels as though I have always been wrapped in stories and books. My parents read to me, and I in turn read to younger brothers. Family economics meant we couldn’t own many books, but going to the library was as common as going to the market. I still have the books I received as gifts. They include two “Little Golden Books” that were savored in childhood, and have served as talisman ever since. THE BUNNY BOOK by Patsy and Richard Scarry (1955) and RABBIT AND HIS FRIENDS by Richard Scarry (1953).

I began writing stories when they were given as assignments in elementary school. By seventh grade I was writing even when there was no assignment. My dream of making books became so vivid, I submitted my first “formal” picture book manuscript to a publisher when I was sixteen. Eleven more years of school, work, reading, writing and luck finally brought about LIZARD’S SONG, my first children’s book to be accepted.

Picture books have been my professional focus now for 40 years. Reading them. Writing them. Sharing them with children. Teaching workshops and classes on writing them. Oh yes, and buying them. Lots of them. And now, blogging about them, and helping other writers.

That last line is what George is here to do now – help us writers.  One lucky 12 x 12 challenger will win a critique from George!  All participants are eligible for one point, regardless of whether you complete a draft in Feb. or not.  All you need to do to get your point is leave a comment on this post.  Now, take it away George!

From Flicker to Final Manuscript

The initial flirtatious idea for a new book is always delicious. That moment is packed with possibilities, but it will remain just that unless we take action. We must do the work. And, our primary work is doing all we can to maintain a sense of play as we write.

A sense of play allows us to take chances, to experiment, to explore with no purpose beyond the pleasure of looking. Play around by placing the idea in the middle or the end if a story, as well as the beginning. Drop it into different contexts. Try different characters. What you discover could affirm your first instincts or offer a more original story than you expected.

A sense of play also means getting words on paper or the computer screen. Thinking, pondering or musing about writing is NOT WRITING. If you want to be perfect then leave the page blank. If you want to create a story then dive in and get messy with changes, dead ends, revisions, and glorious surprises. Such surprises give us the chance to surrender and win. Clinging to our initial idea and plan for a book is not play. It is locking one’s self in box. As a child once said, “If you draw a picture of a dog and it looks like a horse then it’s a horse!”

My TOMORROW’S ALPHABET grew out of a failed novel. WISE ACRES was initially just one piece of a larger (still unpublished) book. Two of my forthcoming picture books began as poems in a collection that fell into limbo when the interested publisher sold the company.

We all feel stuck or stymied from to time as we write, but fretting about being stuck only makes things worse. So…play instead. Don’t try to find the best idea or sentence. Play toward options no matter how crazy they might feel. Relaxing into a mood of play may be just the thing to let the right idea sneak in the back door.

If a manuscript is flailing and you’re not sure why, relax and play. Go back to the picture books you love and savor them. Examine them like Lego creations to see how they work so well. The books we love are always waiting to teach us more about writing.

If we focus on all the aspects of publishing we cannot control we’ll never get out of bed again. But we can control the process by maintaining a sense of play and possibility. That in turn makes the process too enjoyable to avoid, and that makes us eager to write and write and write some more.

Books That Nurture a Sense of Play 

ART & FEAR: OBSERVATIONS ON THE PERILS (AND REWARDS) OF ARTMAKING by David Bayles & Ted Orland

BEGIN AT THE BEGINNING by Amy Schwartz

CHERRIES AND CHERRY PITS by Vera Williams

DANNY’S DRAWING BOOK by Sue Heap

DOODLER DOODLING by Rita Golden Gelman. Illus. by Paul Zelinsky

FREE PLAY: IMPROVISATION IN LIFE AND ART by Stephen Nachmanovitch

REGINA’S BIG MISTAKE by Marissa Moss

THREE BY THE SEA by Edward Marshall. Illus. by James Marshall

Thank you so much George!  That was an inspired post, as always.  Imagine thinking of writing as play time!  :-)

Participants – to enter to win the critique from George, you must be an official challenger and leave a comment on this post any time during the month of February for one point.  On February 29th, l’ll put a check-in post on the blog.  If you completed a picture book draft in February, you can let us know in the comments of that post for another point.  I will draw a winner using Random.org and announce on March 2nd.

As impossible as it is for me to believe we’re already one full month into 2012, here we are.  Did you get a Picture Book draft written in January?  Let us know in the comments section.  If you did – YAY – you’re eligible for an extra point toward a critique from Tara Lazar (but make sure you’ve left a comment on her Jan. 1 post).  You have until midnight EST Feb 1st to leave a comment on this post and Tara’s initial post to be eligible for the drawing.  I’ll draw a winner via Random.org on Feb. 2nd.

If you didn’t complete a draft this month, try not to be discouraged, and don’t get down on yourself.  Brush yourself off and get ready for February.  While the ultimate goal is 12 PBs, the main idea is to write more by being part of the group than you would have by going it on your own.

I did get my draft finished, albeit by the skin of my teeth.  I wrote the conclusion only yesterday.  With both of my kids having birthdays this month, January is always busy.  Add to that all the administration related to the launch of this challenge, and I can say for absolute certain that I would not have written anything this month if it weren’t for you guys.  So thanks!  The challenge is working its magic already!

Now, for those of you who are really, truly crazy need an even greater challenge, February is also the Picture Book Marathon.  The goal there is to write 26 PB drafts in February (with three rest days).  Good luck to those of you who participate.  I’ll be cheering you on – from the sidelines!

Many thanks, once again, to Tara Lazar, who launched this challenge for us so beautifully!!  We are all going to buy her debut picture book, THE MONSTORE, when it comes out next year, right??

AND – Be sure to come back tomorrow for our February featured author. Excitement!

CONGRATULATIONS to the 401 brave souls who decided to take this plunge with me.  I am so grateful to you all for providing ME with the inspiration and encouragement I need to meet my writing goals this year.

A few announcements and reminders:

1. I have sent an email to all registered participants confirming your participation in the challenge.  You DO NOT NEED TO REPLY to that email.  It is for your reference.  If you believe you signed up for the challenge and do not get an email from me, please contact me at JulieFHedlund (at) gmail (dot) com as soon as possible.
2. If you want to be eligible for at least one point toward this month’s giveaway – a PB critique from author Tara Lazar, you MUST leave a comment on her post by midnight EST on Wednesday, February 1st.  I will draw a winner through Random.org on February 2nd.
3. Check the blog tomorrow for our monthly check-in.  If you completed a PB draft in January, leave a comment saying so and you’ll be eligible for an additional point toward the giveaway.  Please remember that a comment on the check-in post will not count unless you’ve also commented on Tara’s initial post.
4. All “official” 12 x 12 announcements, giveaways and prizes will be made here on the blog.  Please make sure you are following so you receive all of the information.
5. We have a very active 12 x 12 Facebook group where people are introducing themselves, sharing information and support and forming critique groups.  If you are on Facebook, I highly encourage you to join us there.
6. I am now following all 12 x 12 participants with Twitter accounts. If you haven’t already followed me back, please do so at https://twitter.com/#!/JulieFHedlund.  I have created a list of all 12 x 12 participants that you can follow if you want to keep up with your fellow participants: https://twitter.com/#!/list/JulieFHedlund/twelve-by-twelve-in-2012.  We are tweeting about the 12 x 12 challenge using the hashtag #12x.  If you provided me with your Twitter handle and I wasn’t able to follow you, you will hear from me within the next week or so via email.
7. I am also following all participants who are blogging.  If I had any difficulty following your blog, you will hear from me within the next week or so via email.  Some of you provided me with static author and/or illustrator websites.  Please note that I am not able to follow those, as they do not have feeds embedded into them.
8. We have created a list of participant blogs on the Facebook page, and I encourage you all to follow each other.  We’re here to support one another, after all.
9. As a reminder, all “official” 12 x 12 posts will have our banner displayed across the top.  It’s a companion to our lovely badge.  So whenever you see the banner, you know that post will be 12 x 12 related.  Don’t forget you can put the badge on your blog too!  Wear it proudly!
10. Last, but certainly not least, GOOD LUCK to everyone!  I can’t believe we’re already almost one month in.  What a fantastic month it has been!

Still more questions?  Please leave them in the comments.